


The Grey Cat

by alice_time



Series: It Runs in the Family [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, White Collar
Genre: Gen, Heists, Pranks, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-23 22:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12518068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alice_time/pseuds/alice_time
Summary: Neal causes some trouble.





	The Grey Cat

Neal Wayne was bored. He had no right to _be_ bored. His wife was wonderful and challenging. His daughter was adorable and at eighteen months she was precociously repeating every single word she heard. He missed his sister, but she was happily beating up bad guys with her husband. Very happily. They were keeping score, actually, and there was some weird bet going on between the Flash and a couple other members of the JLA about it.

Neal was going to stay out of. _Firmly_ out of it.

Heroing might’ve been the family business, but it wasn’t really Neal’s thing. He liked helping people, but he could do that by consulting on cases for Peter, the local museums, and any random odds and ends the JLA threw his way.

But he was bored anyhow. It was an itch. An itch he knew.

“Darling.”

“Mom.” Neal smiled at his mother, the ever lovely Selina Kyle, who had just climbed in through his living room window. “The window, really?”

She shrugged, tossing her hair back and sauntering into the room. “One has to stay sharp, darling. Speaking of, how would you like to join me on a little heist?”

Neal hadn’t been on an honest heist in years. His mother’s timing was suspiciously perfect. “Where?”

“Star City.” She smiled. “There’s a statue of Bast. You know how I like cats. Also, it contains a flash drive with some _very_ sensitive information on it. Information that shouldn’t fall into the wrong hands.”

“So it’s illegal but…helpful?” Neal smiled. “Sounds like my kind of heist.”

“Well, you know, I try to keep the unhelpful heists to a minimum. They upset Bruce.”

Neal nodded. “We should try to avoid upsetting Dad.”

“So, you’re in?”

“I’m in.”

Selina smiled.

***

The small gallery where the statue was being kept was deceptively unsecure. Neal noted the single security guard, a pair of cameras inside and one on the back alley. There were some noticeable motion detectors as well.

But that wasn’t _all_ of the security. He tapped on the stem of his sunglasses. They were Wayne tech, absurdly expensive and allowed him to switch through the light spectrum. Which was how he knew there was a pressure sensitive trigger under the statue and several trip lasers hidden around the gallery. He finished his recon work and headed back to the hotel. He downloaded the data from the sunglasses and added it to the digital model of the gallery.

“Good work,” Selina remarked. “Now we just need to check the night security rounds.”

“I installed a camera across the street.” Neal brought up the feed. “This is more Mozzie’s area, but you can’t really do this job without picking up a few new things.”

“Very true.” Selina peered over his shoulder at the feed. “We’re on target for a quiet Sunday heist.”

Neal nodded. “I’ve missed this.”

“I know.” She kissed the top of his head. “Don’t forget to call Sara tonight. Emily likes to hear your voice before she goes to bed.”

“I know.” Neal smiled. “Maybe I’ll start helping Sara with some of her retrievals. Dad can’t disapprove of that.”

“You like the thrill.”

“So do you.”

Selina smiled. “Well, you get honestly. Lunch?”

“Lunch.”

***

Neal disabled the lasers, watching Selina take out the cameras out of the corner of his eye. They moved on to step two, creeping over to the glass case where the statue was kept. Selina pulled out what looked like a tube of toothpaste. She handed it to Neal after unscrewing the cap. Neal carefully ran a bead of the clear gel along the base of the glass. It smoked a moment as the gel ate through the glass. Selina lifted the glass free and set it aside.

Neal took a breath, popping open the nearly invisible hatch off to access the wiring to the pressure pad. It took moments to clip the correct wire. Neal pressed the hatch back on and picked up the statuette. Selina held out the bag and Neal deposited their prize.

“All right, let’s get out of here.” Selina smiled.

They turned to leave—only to be faced with an unexpected complication.

Neal sighed. “Green Arrow. Great.” Neal was thankful for his mask in that moment. He’d met Oliver a few too many times not to be recognized without it.

“Catwoman and…a friend?” Green Arrow shook his head. “Don’t you know better than to steal in my city?”

“Oh, precious,” Selina purred. “I steal wherever I want. Be a good boy and let us go.”

“I don’t think so.” He notched an arrow. “You’re going to jail.”

“I don’t think so,” Selina echoed. “Catwoman and the Grey Cat aren’t going anywhere with you. Darling, plan C, if you please?”

Neal smiled and grabbed a smoke bomb off his belt. He threw it to the ground. Dark grey smoke burst forth. Selina and Neal made for the back door. An arrow whizzed by Neal’s ear, clipping him. He clenched his jaw against the sharp sudden pain and hurried through the back door.

Selina shot a grapple line up to the nearest building, holding an arm out to Neal. He rushed forward, hugging her tight as they were zipped up to the roof.

“He’s still on us,” Neal said.

“That’s all right.” Selina laughed. “He won’t catch us.”

They jumped across the gap to the next roof and kept running.

Selina was rarely wrong.

***

A few days later Neal was forced to attend a social event for the good of Wayne Co. At least he had Sara for company. Alfred was babysitting.

“You still haven’t explained what happened to your ear.” Sara sipped at her champagne.

“It’s not really important. I swear.”

“Oh, I dunno about that, Neal.” Oliver Queen strode over to them, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a speculative look on his face. “I think it’s important.”

Sara glanced at Oliver and then at Neal. “Why do I feel like I’m the only one here who isn’t in the loop?” She stared at her husband, eyebrow raised. “Neal?”

He sighed. “This really isn’t the place for this conversation.”

“I’ll let this slide, because that statue was apparently a forgery and worthless,” Oliver said in a low tone. “But you come to my city again and we’re gonna have words.”

Neal smiled. “Sure thing, Oliver.”

Sara sighed. “You went out with your mother, didn’t you?”

Neal shrugged. “Mom is very persuasive.”

“Uh huh.” Sara rolled her eyes. “We are so talking about this later.

Neal sighed. He was definitely going to repay Oliver for this at a later date. After he’d placated his wife.

Which was going to take a whole lot of groveling.

***

When it came to payback, the best person Neal knew at coming up with sneaky and underhanded revenge was Mozzie. So Neal placed a phone call.

And if, a few days later, there was a tabloid photo of Oliver Queen in Batman cartoon boxer shorts, locked out of his house while trying to get his newspaper, well, Neal had absolutely no direct hand in it.

Now the newts, he did have a hand in that. He was settled in for the night, playing a last game of pattycake with Emily, when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Neal!”

Neal recognized too well Bruce’s Batman voice. “Hey, Dad. What’s up?”

“Why is the Batmobile _orange_?”

_Uh oh._

He also, may have inadvertently restarted the JLA prank war.

Neal hung up. “Sara, sweetheart, how about we take a trip to Hawaii?”

He was going to need back-up.

 


End file.
